Tis' the season

Yup, for gifts and cheer and lots of costly spending.

But its also that time of year where them religious people take that extra time to sit back and reflect of the stories of ancient past depending on their background. And for most of you its that time you exhange shit with eachother because its just what we were raised to do on this HOLIDAY of HOLIDAYS: Give.

Unless ur that weird kind of person that always has to have ur OWN whacked intentions of the holiday cuz u GOTTA be different and so u go out all mad, or isolating, or bad mouthing the whole holiday system and why it "never works" for you and all that crap and u end up curled up on a couch with a key lime pie watching re-runs of Buffy the Vampire Slayer cuz u got nothing better to watch until the other writers come back from their vacation next year. Sorry lamers, too bad we just have to have good quality enjoyment in our christmas season.

Work is still going swimmingly. Busy as hell even on our slow days trying to keep up with all the workload and keeping my people happy little motivated agents on until eternity. I can't let up on them for a second because then they try to take advantage and then the slow, angry process of fixing them starts all over again.

My head... is a mess... I'm all sorts of out in space and never coming back to Earth. I think about family, friends, work, religion, love... I think the worst feeling for someone like me is having to go through the holidays without someone to have there with you to enjoy it with. I'm not bitter though, I still have other friends and my whole family around to enjoy the time with but you know the feeling I'm talking about, where you look into the not so distant future at what the time will be like with the people you enjoy being around, all the good times, the partying, the celebration and warm kindness shared amongst eachother and then out of all the feelings and emotions you can imagine in your mind that you'll experience in your head you notice something doesn't feel quite 100%. Despite all the laughter and happiness, you feel this emptiness, in the pit of your body. Tiny at first, you may overlook its importance amongst all the other feelings you are thinking about but then everytime ur mind passes over it it grows... it grows and grows.. Bigger and thicker it starts to take all ur focus away from the goodness of the memory you're making and it corrupts like a deadly cancer, covering over all the images of fun and dance with blackness... Cold, never-ending blackness..